My Story 2009: Part 13

For the complete story (to date), then please return to our main index and download our latest PDF version.

Please also visit our photo album to get a further perspective.

Please further note that I now refer to my wife by her nickname, 'Ling-Ling'.

“There is no act of treachery or meanness of which a political party is not capable; for in politics there is no honour.”

- Benjamin Disraeli

“The need for devotion to something outside ourselves is even more profound than the need for companionship. If we are not to go to pieces or wither away, we must have some purpose in life; for no man can live for himself alone.”

- Ross Parmenter

Go to PART 13: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4

PART 13: 1 | Go to PART 13: 2 - 3 - 4 | Top of page

Reflections: True Love?

One may wonder exactly where our marriage went wrong. The Ling-Ling I left in Portland was a loyal and loving wife. It did not take long for her to lose faith in the future.

Exploited and preyed upon by a man ("JE") she knew from her place of work (Market of Choice), she slowly became convinced that her only hope of getting any type of status was to become involved with him and get the security she had long sought. She was not prepared to wait for a Visa to go to the UK, or for me to return with a solution to our problems.

In Part 5 of this story, I showed how our nightmare began. Little did I know that the predatory instincts of the man who stole her from me would soon be applied.

I'm unsure when this all began. I am told by a mutual friend ("MC") in may have been as early as April 2008 when JE began his attempt to seduce Ling-Ling.

He was a married man with a young child. He cared not for his own marriage, and set about destroying mine.

He initially 'befriended' my wife, or at least pretended to be sympathetic to her situation. It did not take him very long to persuade Ling-Ling she had no future with me and that he was better placed to give her status in the US. It was sometime in the late Summer of 2008 that he was boasting that he was going to marry Ling-Ling. Ling-Ling denied this, but his boast to MC (a devout Christian), meant that I would learn the truth sooner or later. MC felt I had the right to know what was happening.

MC added that this man sounded "unbalanced", mad, crazy. This made me fear for Ling-Ling and that her safety may be in danger. I was more desperate than ever to reach her and deal with JE.

A few steps back ...

Between that horrible, terrible and fateful day in January, 2008, when I was refused entry by evil and corrupt immigration officers in San Francisco, Ling-Ling had remained a devoted and loving wife. Even by June and my birthday, Ling-Ling was showing her love by sending me birthday gifts. I received three t-shirts, some of my favourite biscotti, and sundry other items. Below is an image of the birthday card I was going to throw away when I heard that Ling-Ling had remarried this year (2009). I had already torn it in half, but salvaged it so that it can be shown that Ling-Ling was still (allegedly) in love with me.

June 2008:

This the birthday card that came with my gifts. It will be clearly seen that Ling-Ling is still expressing her love for me, despite being 'involved' with JE.

PART 13: 2 | Go to PART 13: 1 - 3 - 4 | Top of page

January / February 2009:

By this time our divorce was finalised, or almost so. Ling-Ling's marriage to JE was not far off. In this letter from Ling-Ling still signs off her letter with love. However, she continues to tell lies about her whereabouts and plans.

In September, last year (2008), and shortly after I was refused entry to the US, Ling-Ling told me she was moving to California. Her plan was to work there, make some money, and then return to Indonesia. From this point, we would get a Visa for Ling-Ling to come to the UK.

You will see that Ling-Ling says (my attempted translation in English) she is in San Rafael, California. She has a sister who lives here and Ling-Ling was going to live close-by. When speaking to her sister in January 2009, she said she had seen Ling-Ling recently. Whether or not Ling-Ling had made any journey to California is questionable, but her sister must have known of Ling-Ling's plans to abandon our marriage and to betray me.

PART 13: 3 | Go to PART 13: 1 - 2 - 4 | Top of page

A friend in need ...

It was towards the end of March that I called another friend of Ling-Ling and I. Her name is not given here, but she is Indonesian. She is a lovely lady with a wonderful family.

She is not easy to reach as she is out a lot. She also works late. So, one very early march morning, perhaps between 5am and 6am (UK), I managed to reach her on the telephone. She told me she had heard Ling-Ling had got married.

It appears Ling-Ling has been parading her new husband around Eugene, Oregon, in an attempt to 'show-off'. This was an insult to me. I was not aware at the time Ling-Ling was in Eugene that I had been divorced, let alone that Ling-Ling had remarried.

PART 13: 4 | Go to PART 13: 1 - 2 - 3 | Top of page

Her new husband, JE, was now showing his true colours. I was told by MC, via a lady Ling-Ling knows from Kikka sushi, that she was now dressed up and looking like a common hooker. Wearing 'hot-pants' and thigh boots, Ling-Ling was transformed from a wife I was endeavouring to make a lady into something that looks like flesh-for-sale.

PRIVATE PHOTOS TAKEN BY A FRIEND WHILE I WAS IN THE UK:

Good and Bad

Ling had a thing about appearing 'sexy'. She felt it was the only way to keep a partner. If she didn't look sexy, then she feared being abandoned. Not matter how hard I tried, I could just not seem to convince her she looked fine even if dressed up in rags. I loved the woman as a person, not as an image. The first of the images above is how I like to think of Ling.

Prostitution is quite common in Portland. The website link Craigslist [WARNING: This webpage contains images of a very sexual nature] demonstrates how young women are turning to prostitution to make a living. Does JE have Ling-Ling involved with this in any way or form? I only wonder because prior to marrying Ling-Ling a lot of people working for Kikka sushi tried to prevent me marrying Ling-Ling by spreading many sensitive stories about her character. I say no more except I married Ling-Ling because I got to know a loving and caring woman under the exterior of  human being who had been exposed to many harsh realities about life. I married the woman who showed she could be a loyal and loving wife who loves children, and not one of those persons I was told she could be.

Final words

I still love Ling-Ling. But I love the woman I knew. The woman who would make any husband proud, and not the woman who has been turned into something a husband would be ashamed of. Any anger, any hatred, is aimed at her depraved new husband, a low-life Yank who abandoned his own wife and young child to indulge in a campaign of seduction and depravity through the seduction of my wife.

I still fear for my wife, despite her treachery and lies towards me. I know that Ling-Ling would not have done this without having some very powerful reason. I think her new husband preyed upon the fact we could not be together for a long time and used this to convince her she had been abandoned again. This is what happened in Ling-Ling's first marriage and she quite possibly felt abandoned again - despite my efforts and all the suffering I endured to be re-united with her.

Ling-Ling's insecurity, her jealousy, her inability to see true love for what it is, all added up to a situation where she became a target for every low-life in Portland, Oregon. Sadly, she fell victim to one of them. For full details of our divorce and Ling-Ling's marriage to JE see the following documents in the Multnomah County (Portland, Oregon) court system:

Divorce Number: 0809 - 70166. Filed 25 September, 2008. Entered 20 January, 2009.

Marriage (to JE) Licence Number: 200910326. Married February, 2009.

Part 14 of this story will be ready sometime in the Summer of 2009 - or possibly earlier.